Dear Mom
  I'm dating an actress
  And I'm just writing to let you know
  Why I'm so far from home
  I followed her to Stella Adler
  A method man was what she was after
  She must have seen them on TV
    She's my actress model dancer whatever
  I've been watching you
  I've been wanting you
  Actress model dancer whatever
  You're so over there
  You're so everywhere
    I met her over a cigarette
  And though I don't really know her yet
  I could see she sees something in me
  A thousand bucks won't pay the rent
  And I don't know where the money's spent
  But it shows Lord cause nothing's free
    She's my actress model dancer whatever
  I've been watching you
  I've been wanting you
  Actress model dancer whatever
  You're so over there
  You're so everywhere
    She made a promise
  she'd never act with me now
  But I saw her move her lips
  They were reading scripts
  She made a promise
  she'd never act with me now
  And I saw her move her lips
  Line please line please
    Dear Mom
  I'm dating an actress
  And I'm just writing to let you know who who
  Actress model dancer whatever
  I've been watching you
  I've been wanting you
  Actress model dancer whatever
  You're so over there
  You're so everywhere
  Dear Mom
  I'm dating an actress
  Dear Mom
  I'm dating an actress
  Now I'm an actor too